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WHOOPIE GOLDASS

by WHOOPASS GOLDBERG

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1.
Fuck you, adults. I'm going to ride my skateboard. And there is nothing, nothing you can do to stop me. Rock and roll, skating board, can't be late for school. Drinking Monster, hot for teacher, gonna shred this pool. Roller blader, see ya later. BMX for tools. Got my leather, and for pleasure, kick us in the jewels. Fellow teens, grab on to your jeans. We're gonna kick life in the beans. We're skitchin' on a dream. Say the 'F' word, say the 'S' word, say 'em at the church. Gettin' boners, being stoners, keep on gettin' worse. Hang the ledge on my skateboard, roll in like a hearse. Get suspended for profanity. What am I suspended for? Fellow teens, grab on to your jeans. We're gonna kick life in the beans. We're skitchin' on a dream. We're gonna loiter. We're gonna cuss. We're gonna make fun of you on the bus. We're gonna buy cigarettes when we're seventeen. We're gonna go to the movies and throw shit at the screen. And when we go on our phones, we're gonna text you some sass. Your sister's an ass. Your mom is an ass. Your dad is an ass. Your dog is an ass. And your ass is grass. Fellow teens, grab on to your jeans. We're gonna kick life in the beans. We're skitchin' on a dream.
2.
Anime 00:37
I... I love anime. Anime is like my heart. I love it. Anime for me is like a bright light when I am sad. Anime makes me feel happy. Anime is like a movie, I love anime like candy. Anime is my life. I love anime like a animal. I care and love about it. I love watching all different types of anime. It helps me not get bored.
3.
NO JAPAN 02:48
Fuck you, we invented light bulb. Fuck you, we invented freedom. Fuck you, we invented car. So eat shit, and weep while you read 'em. No no no no no no no Japan. No no no no no no no UK. No no no no no no no no France. No no no no no no Canada. Fuck you, we invented taco. Fuck you, we invented fire. Fuck you, we invented chinese food. We invented anime and it helps us not get bored. No no no no no no no Japan. No no no no no no no UK. No no no no no no no Africa. No no no no no no no no Earth. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. USA. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan. Satan.
4.
Fart Patrol. In the cosmic toilet bowl. Stardate 666: Crew is shitting bricks. We're shooting turds in space. Lost without a trace. Ah fuck, I gotta shit again. Fart Patrol. In the cosmic toilet bowl. Stardate 669: We've been shitting through space and time. Brown and green phenomena. It's extraterrestrial cholera. Stardate 671: I think our days are done. All my briefs are brown. Finally going down. Fart Patrol. In the cosmic toilet bowl. Attention all crew members: Commence astro-flush sequence. Fart Patrol. In the cosmic toilet bowl.
5.
Fuck The Man 05:43
Don't let the man swim in your pool. The man is a knife in the dark. Don't let the man swim in your pool. The man can't be trusted. The man is a shark. Don't let the man swim in your pool. The man is nothing but poison. Don't let the man swim in your pool. Don't let him make you a bargain.

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released March 23, 2015

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